Month: May 2006

Gonzales vs. Jefferson: Making Sense of Crazy People

Well, as many of you know, there is a bit of a tizzy going on up in Washington, D.C. Rep. William J. Jefferson (D-La.) got his law offices raided by the F.B.I. Suddenly, Congress is interested in protecting Constitutionally-guaranteed rights. The F.B.I., and Attorney General Gonzales, claim they were completely within their rights to search the office of a Congressman being investigated for corruption. Congress is claiming historic precedent (first) and Constitutional protection (second). Meanwhile, Jefferson is jumping up and down waving his hands and swearing his innocence.

I was a bit confused. I have read the Constitution, many times, and I couldn’t figure out what the hoopla was all about. I mean, the man was being investigated for corruption. They found $90,000 of what was allegedly a $100,000 bribe in his freezer. And they even went to the trouble to get a warrant; a luxury we mere mortals cannot necessarily count on, anymore. So, for you poor souls who, like me, just don’t get it…here’s a breakdown of what I have been able to figure out.

The (Constitutional) Issue:

Article 1, Section 6 states that all Senators and Representatives

…shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.

It is being argued that the confiscation of legislative documents from Jefferson’s office violates this provision. This might be true, if the documents taken deal with legislation (in the sense of drafted bills, research for that purpose, committee reports, etc.). What is not included, according to the letter of the law and legal precedent, is anything else.

So that seems straightforward. But that’s not really the issue.

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Spam: The Open Window of Culture

Have you ever analysed the pattern of the spam arriving in your mailbox every day? I know, most of us have filters that keep the majority of that junk from bothering us..but some gets through, anyway. I actually have an account that I mostly abandoned years ago, simply because I couldn’t find my mail anymore. Now it is the spam tracking account.

A year or so ago, almost all the spam hitting my account was sexual in content. I really enjoyed it. How many different ways can you spell…well, things I probably ought not type out on here. But you know what I’m talking about. I loved reading though the solicitations for “personal web-cam” sites and contemplating the machinations of various penis-enlargement devices. I sympathised with the plight of the half-dozen or so men who sent me their stories of “sexual malfunction” (which had always been cured with some mystery pill), and grinned at their descriptions of the 36-hour “love marathons” which they now enjoyed. I contemplated the statements that all women wanted a “bigger” man, and wondered if I was alone in my disagreement. I thought about all those other folks on the spammers’ lists, and wondered if they worried about the same things my spammers did.

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