Beyond Rational: How To Discuss Contentious Topics and Keep Your Cool

In “civilized” society, we know that one of the cardinal rules is that there are certain topics one just simply does not bring up: politics, religion, money, and sex. The problem, of course, is that without these subjects most dinner parties devolve into inane conversations about the weather, and online communities such as Newsvine would not even exist. Being a lifelong veteran of the art of asking questions which bring dinner parties to a sudden and ominous silence, and yet rather partial to discussions which go somewhere other than “taking it outside”, I thought it might be of value to share some of the insights and techniques I have acquired over the years in the hopes that we can all get a little farther in discussing topics which are actually topics (as opposed to the weather, which I assure you really isn’t).
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Raising Diplomats

This week’s news headlines run something like this:

Russia, U.S. Disagree on Iran Sanctions
Israel Vows to Respond to Rocket Attack
China Declines APEC Meeting With Canada
Bush Warns N. Korea on Nuclear Transfers
…and so on. Notice anything missing?
Diplomacy is an artform that has never been well understood by most, and in recent years has all but vanished, under the increasing tendency to view anything less than full military force as the arena of the ” weak”.

“All war represents a failure of diplomacy” — Tony Benn

Where do we expect this policy of tough talk and fast action to take us? In the movies, the Good Guys are usually able to take out the Bad Guys with one carefully planned excursion, perhaps a massive shootout, and some classy dialogue followed by single, well-aimed bullet. But out here our roles are not so clearly defined, and the stunt guys just don’t fall down when they are supposed to. Somehow, in spite of everything we have been taught to believe, the Bad Guys just keep coming back, and violence just keeps breeding more violence.

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