Elevenish Ways To Kill A Peep

So, it’s Easter/Ostara/Spring Equinox/whateveryoucallit, and as usual the stores are full of symbolic representations of our gratitude for new life. Pastels, chocolate eggs, and the persistent Peeps. Yes, the gooey marshmallow “treats” which line up in their neat little rows behind their cellophane windows to peer blankly out into the world through their vacant eyes. They practically beg to be abused, with their conformist attitudes, insubstantial nature, and misprinted features. And, inspired by this effort, my family and I decided to accommodate their blatantly masochistic inclinations. Thus, the afternoon before Easter, we invested $2 in two packs of the “bunny” variety of Peeps, and proceeded to destroy them in the most creative ways we could imagine. What follows is a record of our efforts.

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Let’s Talk About Torture

I have been proud to host many civil discussions on my column. We have talked about abortion, pornography, and various Bush controversies without ripping each other’s eyes out. It has been lovely.

But this is not going to be one of those articles.

Yesterday, the breaking news was that an American had actually been held and tortured at an American naval base in Iraq. His torture amounted only to being cold, subjected to bright lights and loud music, and repeatedly interrogated under the conviction that he was involved in something suspicious. He lost over three months of his life this way.

Now, compared to what others have lost in our prisons, this is nothing. Others have lost their dignity, their health, and their lives. What makes this story remarkable is that it is your final wake up call. Continue reading