Elevenish Ways To Kill A Peep

So, it’s Easter/Ostara/Spring Equinox/whateveryoucallit, and as usual the stores are full of symbolic representations of our gratitude for new life. Pastels, chocolate eggs, and the persistent Peeps. Yes, the gooey marshmallow “treats” which line up in their neat little rows behind their cellophane windows to peer blankly out into the world through their vacant eyes. They practically beg to be abused, with their conformist attitudes, insubstantial nature, and misprinted features. And, inspired by this effort, my family and I decided to accommodate their blatantly masochistic inclinations. Thus, the afternoon before Easter, we invested $2 in two packs of the “bunny” variety of Peeps, and proceeded to destroy them in the most creative ways we could imagine. What follows is a record of our efforts.

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Bringing Back the Stocks

Here in Asheville, NC, the police department is updating an ages-old concept in their attempts to discourage unwanted behaviour: public humiliation. As was recently announced, Asheville police have begun posting on their website and on the local television channel names and photographs of individuals charged with prostitution or soliciting for prostitution.

Now read that again, carefully: charged with

 

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