State of the Union Address

My fellow Americans– and those of you who follow American politics with a knot of tension in your stomachs and a Starbucks coffee in your fist– today we find ourselves in one hell of a pickle.

Reading the morning news, I find that we have not won the War on Terror. I place the blame for this debacle squarely in the laps of the dissidents among us. Apparently, some of our citizens did not get the memo that questioning our policies is tantamount to treason, and I regret to inform you that anyone expressing less that full support for our policies in the future will be transported to our new, top of the line, vacation housing in the midwest for reprogramming. I wish the rest of you to understand that this action is necessary for both the protection of the ill-wishers among us, and our own. Now, I am all for free speech in general, but as a war-time President I must stand by my Constitutional obligation in times of war and do my best to preserve the freedoms of the loyal and true among us. The doubt of the weak easily lends itself to radical ideals and radical action. We cannot allow the actions of those easily influenced to tread upon the security of the brave and true patriots of this great nation. Rest assured that those of us who still hold the values of our forefathers close to their hearts will see their freedom and liberty protected.

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A Quiet Moment For Iran

As public sentiment in the United States appears to be congealing about Iran, it would be worth taking a few minutes to quietly review the facts as they have been presented to us. It is entirely possible that our government knows more than they are telling, but as a nation ostensibly somewhat involved in the decisions of our leaders, we can only make a judgement as to whether an attack on Iran is acceptable based on the information we are given. If the information is not sufficient to justify an attack, then we should demand more proof before we give our consent. This, then, is an attempt to bring together the information available in one place, where it can easily be reviewed, in order to understand the choice we are being asked to make.The primary justifications we see for a pre-emptive strike on Iran are shockingly similar to the reasons we were given for a pre-emptive strike on Iraq. First, there is the argument that Iran is a totalitarian regime, led by a madman, which has a history of abusing its people and has unpredictable and violent intentions toward the rest of the world (read as the United States and its allies). Secondly, there is the contention that Iran is creating weapons of mass destruction, in this case nukes, which it intends to use as a threat, and possibly as the central force in an attack against the United States and its allies.

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